If Steve Jobs had his way, we'd always have Jeff Goldblum in our pockets
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If Steve Jobs had his way, we’d always have Jeff Goldblum in our pockets


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Imagine if Siri wasn’t just an anonymous voice living inside your iPhone. Instead, what if the dulcet tones of none other than Jeff Goldblum asked “how can I help you?” every time you accidentally press your home button for too long?

If Steve Jobs had his way, we’d be living in a world where we’d have the chance to carry around our own little piece of Goldblum in our pockets, everywhere we go. Just imagine if you could hear this all day, whenever you ask your AI assistant for some help.  

“Steve Jobs called me up a few decades ago to be the voice of Apple,” the actor told Richard Wilkins of Australia’s Today Show in an interview that was picked up by cNet. “That was early on, and I did not know it was Steve Jobs.”

It’s not clear exactly when the conversation took place — are we talking borderline action hero Goldblum, when he was best known for taking on dinosaurs and aliens in Jurassic Park and Independence Day? The appeal is undeniable.

Or was this Wes Anderson-era Goldblum, after he fully embraced the quirkiness we now know and love to clash with fellow internet demigod Bill Murray?

Goldblum did serve as an Apple pitchman for a time, appearing in spots for the iMac and bringing his signature zany enthusiasm to sell us on programs like iMovie. 

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But those were just some quick TV ads, not a full on brand-personality synergy it sounds like Jobs was going for in his branding vision. We missed out. 

Tim Cook: Please make this happen. It’s not too late to switch gears and give your AI assistant a whole new vibe. There’s even a perfect tagline for the inevitable marketing onslaught promoting the partnership I’ll let you use, free of charge:

“Siri, uh… finds a way.” 

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May 17, 2017
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